Hey, it's me again.

    I think the last time we left off; I was angry at something. I am not angry all the time. I just think that people should be placed in sections. Like when you organize your closet by colors and season. I am not like to you. I organize my closet by shirts, pants and the hidden temple of underwear. Dude, I kid you not, I have a shit ton of underwear. Its cause every time I travel, I buy like two packets of underwear. Then when I come back from vacation, I just dumps it with the rest of the underwear. I have done this like....I guess every time I traveled out of SC. Am special.

    Anyways compartmentalize, (dude I spelled that perfectly, am proud of me) that is what am talking about. Section people off with what they are good at and keep them motivated. Motivation, I think that is what lacking now a days. I would lay in bed all day if I could but then my ass (its so fucking sensitive) would start hurting and it would ruin the whole comfy vibe. Not gonna lie but I miss my old bed. I was making kushy  to my taste (Well, the pack and mine taste) Oh and had to right in front of the tele so I can just sit my ass down and watch whatever I wanted. See I got myself 'partmentalized. I belong in my room only to come out when I fucking well please or go on vacations to see the familia.

Dad tried his best to keep me motivated. No, dad keeps me motivated. With his cute funny talks and his very important speeches. Though I kind of have weird feeling that he is going pop a new sister or brother sometimes soon. I don't know it's just a weird feeling, but I will shelve that for laters. Peace. love and Applesauce 

Wait I got a story before I go, if you know me then you know if you are close family I will end the call with an I love you. My dad was taken aback when I said it, he mumbled it back. Almost two years later, He can non shyly tell me that he loves me, and we end the call/meeting the same way 

"I LOVE YOU PA!"

"oh kay girl, I love you too"

Can my daddy be any cuter?

Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Self-Love

1. Do I believe I’m worthy of good things like love and happiness? Of course, I believe I am. I put in good out into the world and I get it back.

2. In what ways do I show love for myself? I like to buy things for myself and I like to fix my face. 

3. Do I speak up when I feel I’m not getting what I deserve? I did not in the past but recently I have.

4. How comfortable am I with saying “no” to things or people who don’t bring me joy? At this moment I am comfortable to tell anyone no.

5. Do I feel guilty if I put my needs first? I use to feel so guilty but not anyone, I have to put myself first.

6. When was the last time I felt beautiful? Smart? Or powerful? I think I felt beautiful when I was a little kid. I felt smart and powerful just last week, when I defended a group a CNAs from a loudmouth, I mean an irritating resident.

7. If someone tells me I’m not good enough, how would I respond? I have yet to hear thoughs words, but when I heard "are you stupid?" I would say nothing and let the coldwater wash over me. Then I would turn, without a word, and go to an upper management. 

8. If someone tells me I’m amazing, how would I respond? I would smile and thank them. 

9. How often do I apologize, even when it’s not my fault? A lot, its a bad mistake I know but I just can't help it.

10. How often do I take on other people’s problems as if they were my own? Not very often but when I know its ruining my day, I step in. 

11. When was the last time I told myself “good job”? When I did my last painting. 

12. How often do I spend time and energy taking care of myself versus taking care of others? I have been learning to take care of myself, every since daddy told me to think of myself for once.

Vomiting words.

 

I hate incompetent people.

Like you can see it in their mannerisms, the way the conduct themselves and even in the way they dress.

Do not get me wrong I AM STUPID, I will plainly admit it like the water is wet and sand love but cracks. But you do not see me jumping to do brain surgery. NO! Then why WHY are there incompetent people in fields that might be life, death, or even a fall to the face. STICK TO WHAT YOU KNOW! DON’T RISK THE LIVES OF OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY.

Day 157 of Camp / Day 87 of shut in

Got my new television set up. Its pretty cute. 

Just found out the I have very few days of therapy, which is okay. I am walking very slowly but walking. My right leg really just wants to move, but my left leg is just dragging. The reason why is because it straight and not bending like it suppose to. 

Day 156 of Camp / Day 86 of shut in

Okay I am complaining, WHAT HAPPEN TO MY PEACE AND QUIET! 

It so noisy now, that its super ridiculous.....

Thou thinking about it, it feels like predicted the future by buying noise cancelling headphone. 

Besides that nothing new except got my noise canceling head phones and an anx cord to hook up to my computer and alexa. 

UGGG my eyes twitching at so much noise is around. 

The headphones are perfect. Makes me feel that I am only person in the world listening to music.

Day 155 of Camp / Day 85 of shut in

I can't complain. I have everything I need and more. I got a nice room, new air bed, new ac and tomorrow I am getting a new t.v. And the cherry on the cake I sent cake to my dad house by accident, and now they giving me more money. Like what the fruit is going on. I am just have to say thank you lord and continue pushing to walk.

I seriously can't complain.
Everyday I have food in the morning, then do whatever til lunch, I have the PT for an hour then once more do whatever til dinner and after dinner, to whatever. O_O can you see I have no room to complain. *Bows her head* Thank you Lord.

Day 4 of Camp

Yesterday was amazing!!! 

So my daddy and my 2nd mom from New York met and it was awesome! They shared stories and even shared lots of laughs, I loved it so much. Also my grandma came yesterday too with my brother, so it was a party!!! We have tostones, some super chunky guac and some of my dinner. I am so happy! Like legit people are coming out just for me and its amazing.

Also this morning I got a present and it was also awesome. I love getting presents even if it was late.

So today is a new day and I have a meeting, PT and also meeting with the medicaid person. I also have to follow some rules to: I NEED TO SAVE!! Like majorly and I can't be like the old jey who use to go nuts and stuff, The lady really went into my stuff and notice all my patterns and stuff. I was like super blushing and everything. I think I am going to go super early, one: to catch to see if there there is Spanish Club and two: to get my paper work done early. I am gonna be super sleepy today cause of yesterday.

AHHHHHH I am so happy.

LATERS!